The new math

   I'm just old enough that I still send Bob after a "5-pound sack" of sugar when we all know that sugar has been sold in 4-pound bags for at least the last 20 years.

  Also I recall when a "No. 2" can of green beans weighed 16 ounces. You know, one whole pound. The last one I bought weighs 14.5 ounces. Who are they kidding? Well, I admit they fool me for awhile most of the time.

  What gets me is how the 99 cent stores have managed to keep a brisk business by selling items that are now weak, sickly impostors of their former selves to "bargain" lovers like me. (It's a sort of minor addiction, on the order of gambling, I think). Sure, you can still get a package of 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies for 99 cents, each of which is now the size of a quarter, dotted with brown dye to resemble the chips. Wash cloths have become see-through patches measuring 5 inches square.
   Then there are those jumbo, 2-gallon zipper plastic bags. Not very long ago, you could get 7 in a box for a buck. Then it was 5 and now they must be too embarrassed to sell a box of just 2 or 3, so they don't sell them at all anymore, which is awful because I have lots of STUFF that needs to go in those things!

The sad decline of Cindy's clothespins.

   But the cheapskate-pipe-dreamer in me still thinks I can get away with something in those places, so I was a little smug when I left with a package of 36 spring clothespins the other day. (Yes, I still hang clothes out to save on the electric bill a little). Only a few years ago, the package would've had 50 in it. Still, I thought 36 for a dollar was a good deal. Until I tried to hang Bob's wet jeans with the things. I turned around and those pants flew off the line like a great blue heron in search of minnows. That's when I really looked at them, comparing my new ones with whatever else was in the tub. You can see the sad decline of this simple tool in the photo at right. No wonder they can't grip a pair of wet work pants.

   Honestly, I'd rather shop in the TWO-dollar store and get something worth using. I'd rather come home with 20 real clothespins than 36 pretend ones. And I won't even get started on the "fashion dolls" whose heads and extremities come off in your hand as you wrestle them from the packaging as a teary-eyed little girl looks on....

   And I think it's an apt metaphor for life in these United States in 2014: Everybody is always squeezing out more from less, cutting corners, substituting with inferior ingredients, searching for some new math that will inject another hour into every 24. Making sure our kids have every experience, even if the whole family is run ragged, so that our multi-talented offspring can show off on their college application. Because, of course, all properly-reared, smart children are multi-talented, right?
   Attaching ever more items to the list of accomplishments on our resume, things that would also look good in our obituary one day. So everyone will marvel, "How DOES (did) she do it??"
   Someone has said if you do too many things at once, you probably aren't doing anything particularly well. Plus you drive people at home crazy. And God is not fooled if you are laying up treasures for yourself instead of for whomever it is you claim to be serving. Trust me, I know.
   And regarding those obituaries many of us have already written and saved in the "ME" file on the desktop just so our survivors get it RIGHT, I'll be honest here: I pretty much skip over those long obituaries that go on and on. NOBODY is that important. In fact, the ones you tend to remember, that make you wish you had known this person, are the brief little stories that sum up a real life with something like, "She loved her family, tried to serve her Lord, and really hated junky clothespins."

16 A simple life in the Fear-of-God is better than a rich life with a ton of headaches. Prov. 15:16